Tag: Alcohol

sleep

I can’t sleep again. My mind is racing with one thought after another. When will this end? One glass after the next bottle. Numb. The best feeling of them all. I’m not sad. Nowhere near feeling depressed. Everything feels right. Everything feels normal. I feel something, not just numb. I wish I could sleep. I wish I could fall asleep. I don’t need it though. I am not on any drugs. My mind just goes a million miles per hour. My mind can’t sleep. It can’t stop. It won’t stop. My mind will not stop.
How can I be so blind. I am running away. Things aren’t as good as the pictures. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for anyone who decides to get attached to me. I will leave you so quickly.
Trust me not to trust me.
I am a walking disaster. I will make your entire world turn left side right. I am misunderstood, and will run away when things are good. I don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve this. Someone will love you. Someone will love me. Please don’t fall in love with me.
I sit here in silence. The same song on repeat. A beat flooding through every vein. A temporary feeling that I wish I could feel.
What is on your mind. What is on my mind?
I am toxic.
A little chaotic.
There is something not right. I believe I am already in it too deep. I go through my ups, downs, downs, ups, and downs.
There is not more time. I am fighting this fight to keep fighting. Do you even recognize me? I am still alone in my mind. Maybe that’s how I want to be. Maybe that is how things are supposed to be.
I wish I could fall asleep
N.m.r

disasterous

disasterous

I am a walking disaster, the worst of its kind.
The saddest happiest girl you will ever meet.
Let me show you a perspective on the world you struggle to look at it.
Let me whisper words in your ear that you will never understand.
Let me ignite fire in your bones that destroys your insides.
You will know when it hits you, literally.
I am a walking disaster, the best of its kind.
The happiest saddest girl you will ever meet.
Let me love you from the inside out.
Let me lure you in with my perfected fake smile.
Let me kiss your liquor soaked lips.
You will know when it hits you, literally.
I am a walking disaster, the worst best kind.
The saddest happiest girl you will ever meet.
N.m.r