Tag: Newblog

Butterfly

TRULY. Thank you. Thank you for reminding me what butterflies feel like. Not just in my tummy, but through every bone in my body. You make me feel nervous, the beautiful kind of nervous. Nervous to screw up, to screw up something so incredibly beautiful. Let me lay all of my feelings out on the table. Why should I keep this bottled up. What is the point? Forget about all of the times people have hurt you. Words terrify me. What if they mean nothing to you? I want to be the girl you never expected to walk into your life. I hope I make you question everything you have ever believed about love. I ask nothing in return.
BUT damn… I hope you feel the same way.

sleep

I can’t sleep again. My mind is racing with one thought after another. When will this end? One glass after the next bottle. Numb. The best feeling of them all. I’m not sad. Nowhere near feeling depressed. Everything feels right. Everything feels normal. I feel something, not just numb. I wish I could sleep. I wish I could fall asleep. I don’t need it though. I am not on any drugs. My mind just goes a million miles per hour. My mind can’t sleep. It can’t stop. It won’t stop. My mind will not stop.
How can I be so blind. I am running away. Things aren’t as good as the pictures. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for anyone who decides to get attached to me. I will leave you so quickly.
Trust me not to trust me.
I am a walking disaster. I will make your entire world turn left side right. I am misunderstood, and will run away when things are good. I don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve this. Someone will love you. Someone will love me. Please don’t fall in love with me.
I sit here in silence. The same song on repeat. A beat flooding through every vein. A temporary feeling that I wish I could feel.
What is on your mind. What is on my mind?
I am toxic.
A little chaotic.
There is something not right. I believe I am already in it too deep. I go through my ups, downs, downs, ups, and downs.
There is not more time. I am fighting this fight to keep fighting. Do you even recognize me? I am still alone in my mind. Maybe that’s how I want to be. Maybe that is how things are supposed to be.
I wish I could fall asleep
N.m.r

Run

Step after step
And I still hear all of the voices running through my mind
Make them stop, make them stop
I am a forest fire
Self destructive
Demolishing everything in my path
There is no way to put it out
So I run
Faster than I ever have before
Further than I’ll ever make it
Strangers hands clasped tightly around my lungs
Barely breathing
Heart not beating
So I run
Faster than I ever have before
Further than I’ll ever make it
Until my heart burns out of my chest
And I’m gasping for my last breath
My legs can’t run anymore
I can’t take another step
So here I am
Curled up in the corner
In a place that’s burning to the ground
And it will destroy me
Like I destroyed you