Tag: Thoughts

sleep

I can’t sleep again. My mind is racing with one thought after another. When will this end? One glass after the next bottle. Numb. The best feeling of them all. I’m not sad. Nowhere near feeling depressed. Everything feels right. Everything feels normal. I feel something, not just numb. I wish I could sleep. I wish I could fall asleep. I don’t need it though. I am not on any drugs. My mind just goes a million miles per hour. My mind can’t sleep. It can’t stop. It won’t stop. My mind will not stop.
How can I be so blind. I am running away. Things aren’t as good as the pictures. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for anyone who decides to get attached to me. I will leave you so quickly.
Trust me not to trust me.
I am a walking disaster. I will make your entire world turn left side right. I am misunderstood, and will run away when things are good. I don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve this. Someone will love you. Someone will love me. Please don’t fall in love with me.
I sit here in silence. The same song on repeat. A beat flooding through every vein. A temporary feeling that I wish I could feel.
What is on your mind. What is on my mind?
I am toxic.
A little chaotic.
There is something not right. I believe I am already in it too deep. I go through my ups, downs, downs, ups, and downs.
There is not more time. I am fighting this fight to keep fighting. Do you even recognize me? I am still alone in my mind. Maybe that’s how I want to be. Maybe that is how things are supposed to be.
I wish I could fall asleep
N.m.r

Run

Step after step
And I still hear all of the voices running through my mind
Make them stop, make them stop
I am a forest fire
Self destructive
Demolishing everything in my path
There is no way to put it out
So I run
Faster than I ever have before
Further than I’ll ever make it
Strangers hands clasped tightly around my lungs
Barely breathing
Heart not beating
So I run
Faster than I ever have before
Further than I’ll ever make it
Until my heart burns out of my chest
And I’m gasping for my last breath
My legs can’t run anymore
I can’t take another step
So here I am
Curled up in the corner
In a place that’s burning to the ground
And it will destroy me
Like I destroyed you

Technology

Technology

Does social media really connect us? Or does it do just the opposite?

I myself have loss touch with humanity. Staring into a little screen for over half of my day. Worrying about my battery life, if I missed a call, a text, a notification of any sort. How many likes did I get on the picture I posted earlier.. or did anyone comment  on my post? Someone give me attention. Isn’t that what I want? My friend list seems to have more acquaintances than real friends. Who are these people? How many people do I truly talk to? Hang out with? Actually know… Rather than what they post about on social media. We all can live a lie, post a lie, caption a lie.

Social media makes it easier. Makes it easier to fake, and mask just how we are doing deep down. Our phones are taking away from special moments in life. Incredible moments!

It’s time. It’s time to put down our phones, laptops, iPads, and everything & anything that is distracting you from this given moment in time.

We are ALL DISTRACTED.

Walking down streets filled with people, and filled with emotion. Yet alone, very alone. Half of the time we don’t even realize these emotions, or these people. We don’t glance up from the little screens we stare into. Zombies. We walk by these humans, these faces, these incredible people that could be striving for that connection, that interaction.. the eye contact… The touch. That we all have been wanting, that most of us are searching for. We have all of these opportunities RIGHT in from of us, but none of us reach out and take them. We are strangers. Are we too busy looking at a little screen to realize it?

Look left, look right. People are spread out across your eyes, but you still glance down at technology. Why not engage in a conversation?!

Make eye contact with another individual, and smile. I dare you not to ignore them.

How can you ignore one another at a bus stop. In line for coffee, food, groceries. When out with a group of friends most of us would rather stare at a screen instead of engage in a conversation. What have we become. This is not humanity.